Life is fluid and so is this blog

The na gosti (party) I went to today was very interesting, sad and emotional for me. In an earlier post I talked about a man from Yemen, his Bulgarian wife, and their two boys that are 16 and 13. I got a phone call at around 4:45 asking me when I was going to come. Actually they woke me up from my afternoon nap. I usually don’t take naps in the afternoon but it’s been a long weekend and week. I had another visitor this weekend that stayed until early Sunday morning. We had a great time because we talked A LOT about what it means to be African American in the Peace Corps in Eastern Europe. As of right now we are the only black women in Peace Corps Bulgaria. I am truly blessed to have another black woman in the same country as me because we can do each other’s hair and swap hair products! It’s awesome. There is another African American guy but I have never met him before. We are all hoping to get together soon just to be around each other. Man oh man do I miss black people! Anyhow that’s a tangent that most people will not understand unless they are black or part of a minority ethnic group in the U.S.

Anyhow, I hadn’t planned on being at their house until about 6pm but they sounded eager for me to get there so I said that I would be at there in about 30 minutes. The entire time I was getting ready I was praying that nothing would happen to me. Its interesting being in a foreign country because I have to be extra careful who I associate with, especially in Eastern Europe. There is always the possibility of being trafficked, kidnapped, or robbed. Don’t get me wrong I am very safe in Bulgaria, actually safer than I would be in the U.S, but there is always the thought in the back of my mind to be extra cautious because as an American I might appear to be a bag of money to people rather than an actual person. I also have to think about skinheads and racist people that might hate me because the color of my skin.

I caught a cab to their apartment but the cab driver had no clue were he was going. First he stopped in front of this random building and told me that it was the place I needed to go. He looked at the number of the block apartment realized his mistake and drove me to the correct place. To be honest I had no idea that I was at the wrong apartment! This was my first time ever going to their apartment so the cab driver’s guess was as good as mine. I am forever grateful that he realized his mistake and took me to the correct place and didn’t charge me extra money. This month I am extremely broke so an extra stotinka (penny) would have killed me. As we drove up to the correct building the youngest son was waiting outside for me with a huge afro and no coat. After I paid the cab fare he asked me how much it cost. I was a little thrown off by this because I didn’t expect a little kid (he really isn’t a little kid but he looks 7 to me instead of 13) to ask such a blunt question. After I told him the cost he tried to pay me back for the cab fare. I absolutely refused to take the money even though I am broke for the moment. He looked at me with surprise and we walked to their block and apartment.

The first thing I noticed when I walked in was the rug on the floor. It looked out of place in a way. Actually it looked brand new! I was caught off guard because I know these people don’t have much. There apartment was clean and neat but very typical Bulgarian (I will not go into detail because I might offend Bulgarians that read this blog). The husband works at the market and the wife has a handicap. One of her legs is shorter than the other which causes her to walk with a limp. I ignored the rug for the moment, as I tend to do with things I don’t understand, and let them show me the rest of their apartment. Actually they didn’t show me the rest of their apartment they took me to the living room that had a knee high table surrounded by three chairs, and a typical mini Bulgarian bed covered with a red hot fur blanket. The curtains were the same color as the blanket, which brought the color scheme of the room together. In the corner was a desk and computer that they continued to play rap and hip-hop music on to impress me. Every time a Bulgarian person asks me what kind of music I like they automatically assume I like rap or hip-hop and that I hate chalga. I like all kinds of music and chalga doesn’t bother me much when I don’t have to watch the videos. To me Chalga sounds like music from the Middle Eastern part of the world. I really cant describe it in words but I do have a chalga song on my myspace page as background music.

The entire night they constantly played random artist like 50 cent, Snoop Dogg, Lil Bow Wow, Beyonce, etc for my “pleasure”. It got a little annoying because the boys would sing swear words that they did’t understand in front of their parents. When I explained to them that the words they sang were bad words in English they looked at me with surprise and asked me what they meant. Of course, this put me in an awkward position because then I would have to use swear words in Bulgarian to translate. I come from a background where it is really disrespectful to swear in front of older people so I simply said the words were bad and that I did not feel comfortable swearing in Bulgarian. After that conversation they constantly asked me if a song had bad words in them and switched the music if it did. An hour and half later of listening to rap music someone had the wise idea to turn on the television. We ended up watching a program about Rwanda that almost had me in tears.

The father and I watched the program earnestly because we felt a connection with the black people on television while the wife and children didn’t seem that interested. Essentially it was a documentary on life in Rwanda after the genocide. They showed the preserved bodies of children, women, and men that had been slain. While watching this movie I started to feel really guilty about being in Bulgaria instead of an African country. I questioned my purpose here and thought to myself “I could be helping my own people who need so much more”. My work would be more meaningful in Africa! People were eating from wooden bowls off the dusty ground; they got “fresh” water by digging a whole in the ground. I could see myself in a remote village in African. I would have a different braided hairstyle every week, every outfit would be homemade with beautiful African prints, all the hair products I need would be at my disposal. As my mind began to take a turn to hair products and clothes I knew that I was back to reality. I could survive in a remote village in African but now wasn’t the time because I am in Bulgaria. I eventually want to get the Ghana citizenship but this will not happen until after a couple years. I have been to Ghana and plan to visit other African countries soon but Africa is too much of sore spot for me. I can’t live there unless I know the work I do there will cause drastic change. Africans are my brothers and sisters from a different continent. They are the ones that weren’t taken by slavery but were stricken with poverty and colonization. When I was in Ghana a Ghanaian professor once said that “Africans Americans have the mindset of slaves and Africans have the mindset of the colonized, I don’t know which is worse”.

Wow this blog took a complete turn again but I will try to bring it back…. However I am extremely tired so I need to finish this tomorrow.

Tomorrow I need to talk about the importance of the rug, the dinner we ate, braiding the kid’s hair again, using their bathroom, and the cab ride home. I think I was at their place for at least five hours so there is ALOT to tell! Sorry to leave you hanging but I can’t keep my eyes open anymore.


Thinking of dreaming,

Crystal

My Day After IST (In Service Training)

I just got back from IST (In Service Training) and decided to update my blog based on the events that occurred when I got back to site. Don’t worry Ma nothing extraordinary happened today. It was actually a pretty normal day with normal activities. Normally one would expect PCVs NOT to be busy because they are dwindling away in a state of nothingness as they work in developing countries, for me, this has never been the case. I feel like I am constantly running from one event to the next with projects, social events, work, Peace Corps events, church, traveling, and random visitors. Don’t get me wrong I am not working all day every day in my office but I am never bored, well most of the time.

Anyhow, today I traveled back to site with a fellow PCV only to get a call from him an hour later saying that his bus wasn’t leaving from the train station until 6pm (it was 1pm when he called). He wandered if he could rest at my place until his bus arrived. This wasn’t a problem with me even though I was truly looking forward to spending some much needed time alone cleaning my apartment. He came over and I decided to check the train schedule to see if anything earlier was available. Sure enough there was a train leaving at 2:30pm and 4:30pm that he could catch. I rushed him to the group taxi that would take him to the town 15 minutes away from mine so that he could catch the next train home. After making sure he was safe and sound in a taxi I went to meet my friend, the market man, at the market. I need to give you a brief introduction to this person because I don’t think I have ever mentioned him before.

When I first got to VT three months ago I met this random man in the market. He stood out because he looks African. Whenever I see someone with the same skin color as my own I say hello. I don’t know why but it always makes me feel at home when I see black people in Bulgaria. Anyhow, it turns out that he is from Yemen, which is in the Middle East south of Saudi Arabia and north across the Red Sea from Ethiopia. He looks Ethiopian or Eritrean to me but he calls himself Arabic but identifies with me as a black person. This is an interesting and new concept to me but I think this is normal for people from that part of the world to look African but be Arabic. Every time I passed by his booth in the market he would ask me about random rap artist in the States that his sons listen to like Snoop Dog, Akon, or 50 cent. It always amazes me how African American hip-hop culture has become a part of globalization.

One afternoon he called me over to his booth and asked if I could braid his son’s hair. I absolutely love braiding people’s hair (you would know this if you read some of my earlier post!!!). I agreed but informed him promptly that I could not take any money for my work but I would be more than willing to braid his son’s hair that very night! We agreed to meet at about 9pm in the market and than go to my place for the actually braiding of the hair. We met, I braided his son’s hair it turned out gorgeous, and now I have a new family in Veliko Turnovo.

A couple days after I braided the son's hair the son called me and asked me to meet him at the market at his father's booth. When I got there the entire family was there and they gave me a large bag full of canned food, tissue, soap, perfume, chocolate, and deodorant. The son, who is 13 but looks 7, had even drawn a picture of a red car with my name and Chicago written on the licenses plate! How cute is that? They even had professional pictures taken of the son and gave them to me. This was the first time he had ever had his hair braided in his entire life! They informed me that we WOULD be friends and essentially that they were my new family in Bulgaria. The whole point of the story is that I was going to see them today because he and his wife want me over for dinner on Saturday or Sunday! I am really excited about this but at the same time really worried. I don’t want them spending so much money, time, and afford on me when I know they don’t have a lot.

So after meeting and chatting with the man at the market my original plan was to go to work to visit my co-workers even though I have the day off. I did not feel up to it so I headed home instead. However as I passed the sweet shop I decided to try a Bulgarian pancake (katma) for the first time. I heard a lot about this place from someone in the Peace Corps, maybe my country director, but I am not sure. The pancakes in Veliko Turnovo are supposed to be the best in Bulgaria. They are about the size of a medium pizza only Bulgarians fold them like one would a gyro. However, before folding jelly (grape, raspberry, strawberry), chocolate, or cheese is added to the middle and butter is spread across the top. When I approached the counter to order I had no idea what they name of the pancake was so I asked the lady in Bulgarian “for the sweet thing that everybody likes” at first she looked at me with a blank stare but than she got my meaning and prepared my order.

There was a kid before me in line that kind of listened to me talk as I stumbled through Bulgarian. After he got his food he sat down at the counter table to eat. I was not sure if I was going to stay at the shop or not but the shop lady handed me my food unwrapped so I decided to stay. I sat one seat away from the young boy as the counter table. I sliced one piece from the pancake and new I was in heaven. It tasted like a pancake you can find at a IHOP, Denny’s or, Pancake house in the States only better! I was in pure heaven. The young boy heard me mumble how good it was and asked me " are you American?". I wasnt sure if he asked me because I acted so ridiculous about the food or because of my accent when I speak Bulgarian. My response was "Yes, and how do you know I am American?" He said "because the way you speak Bulgarian", Ny response was "well I could be from England". Than he went into this long story about his uncle lving in American and how he can tell American accents because of this reason. After that we got into this 15 minute conversation about food, music, school, Bulgarians, and America. Unfortunately, I did not find out his name but he was 13 years old in 7th grade. He was so nice! When I said I needed something to drink he offered me a sip from his coke! What type of person offers a stranger a drink from their own glass? Can you imagine an American teen offering a stranger a drink from their coke, let alone talking to a strange foreigner in a fast food joint? That was so sweet! When he left the restuarant he even told me to have a great day and time in Bulgaria. He really made my day!!!!

Eating my Katma while thinking about the nice fluffy things in the world,

Crystal

Living Down Under!

Please excuse spelling and grammatical errors! I didnt feel like making corrections.

What is wrong with Australians? Please follow this story as it turns from a normal evening to something really strange and awkward!!!

Today I met up with a couple PCV friends for dinner. They had two friends with them from Australia, which I thought was cool at the time because I like Australians. One Australian guy met my friend in May while she was backpacking through South America and they meet the other guy the night before at their hostel. After dinner we took a walking tour of VT lead by yours truly. I showed them the scenic route that usually goes unnoticed by tourist so that they could get a real sense of Bulgarian historic culture. They took many pictures, chatted about the beautiful scenery and traditions. I really enjoyed myself because I actually got a chance to hangout with people whose first language is English!

After our walking tour we all decide to head to my place so that they could use the bathroom and hangout. Once they arrived they looked at the city from the view of my balcony, drank water, checked their emails, and listened to me have a conversation with my friends who lives in the South of Bulgarian. I have a very large map of the world (it’s a great conversation piece) in the hallway of my apartment. After we had a lengthy discussion about places to visit around the world (both guys were the typical Australians backpackers), we headed to a restaurant.

We originally wanted to see a movie but one of the Australian had a train to catch at 10:20pm (it was about 7:30pm) and didn’t want to risk missing his train to Romania. So we settled ourselves down for conversation, food, and fun in a restaurant/bar. Things were going extremely well. I tried to make sure everyone was comfortable so they would have a great time. One of the Australian guys noticed and said that I was a very good hostess, which is funny because I think I picked up these skills in Bulgaria because everyone here tries to make visitors feel extremely comfortable. Anyhow, I looked him in they eye and was about to thank him but I noticed a certain look of interest. I stared back at him thinking “what is wrong with this guy” but I simply smiled and said “thanks” (This moment is key to the events that occurred after dinner). The evening continued as normal with small talk, food, and drinking. We talked about Saddam Hussein’s execution; the difference between the British, Americans, and Australians, wages in Bulgaria compared to wages in London; and a host of other random topics that I can’t remember right now. The Australian guy that had to catch a train left at around 9:30pm. We continued to hang, the other Australian ordered another beer and things were going great. Occasionally he would look my way but I tried to think nothing of it. Eventually the other two girls got extremely tired and wanted to call it a night at around 10:30pm. I wasn’t tired yet but I thought “Whatever its their trip and if they want to leave no problem”. The Australian guy paid the bill which was fine for us considering we are all poor PCVs.

Anyhow as we made our way to their hostel, the Australian guy made the suggestion that we should hit up a discoteka (Club) that is well known throughout VT. I thought it was a great idea so I was all for it. The only problem was that the other two volunteers didn’t want to hang. I didn’t want to bail out after I already got really excited about the idea so I am like fine I hangout with the Aussie for one night, even though I had a feeling that this wouldn’t be a good idea.

The Aussie and I headed to the discoteka together and the entire time I was thinking this is not a good idea, I need to go home. I didn’t listen to my instinct though because I didn’t want to be rude and we kept walking. When we got to the discoteka I ordered a coke and he ordered a Bulgarian beer. We sat at a table and chatted it up. The conversation was pretty interesting and I was starting to have a really good time talking to him. We stayed at the disco for about an hour and he made the suggestion that we head to another bar. I was like fine. I have nothing to do tomorrow, why not hang for a little more? So we went to another hot spot in VT. I started to get a headache from all the smoke so I move in closer to tell him that my head is hurting and that I wanted to go home. It’s at this very moment that he started talking about vibes. He mistakenly took my moving in closure as a means to get closure to him. The entire time I thinking, what in the world are you talking about! I have a headache from all the cigarette smoke and I want to go home. So I just smiled and mumbled “yeah uhhh, uhhh, yeah” as I looked away from him not making eye contact. After his long speech I look him in the eyes and say “you are a very interesting person and I think you’re nice but I am going home because I have a headache. By the way I am not hooking up with you”. I than went into this long speech about people knowing me in the town and how my reputation would be a stack…blah,blah,blah. He said “yeah I understand but I will walk you home”. Again my gut reaction was like no!!! Don’t let this weirdo walk you home. You don’t know him from any other stranger on the street even though he has known your friend. I originally totally told him “no” but he was pretty persistent. So in the end I agreed that he could walk me home because it was kind of late. The funny thing is that I could have taken a cab but I never thought about it until this very moment as I write this blog entry. Anyhow, he walked me to my door and I said, “Yeah well have a great night. It was great meeting you. Have a happy New Years”, as I reached into my coat pocket for my key to unlock the door and to go in he got this disappointed look on his face and said “Well can I come in to use the bathroom”. At this point I was thinking what in the world do you want? Didn’t you hear me at the bar say that I am not interested? Urggh I am started to get really annoyed but I let him into my apartment to do his business because I thought he really needed to use the bathroom.

While he was in the bathroom I began tidying my apartment because it was messy from their visit earlier and the volunteers that had slept here the night before (yeah random PCVs always stop in VT to see the beautiful city and they always end up sleeping at my place). I also light some incense because I usually do that to make the apartment smell better. I went into my bedroom and got PJ ready because I planned on going to bed right after he left.

So dude (yes I am referring to him as dude now) came out of the bathroom and is like yeah incense is very romantic. I look at him like uhhm yeah no and said, “I love incense but I don’t think anything is romantic about it. Do you want me to walk you downstairs?” He than walked over to my couch and sat down as if he was staying a long time!!! I looked at him and said, “yeah I am pretty tired and I still have a headache do you know how to get back to your hostel from here otherwise I can call you a cab? He said that he didn’t want me to call him a cab because he didn’t want people to know his whereabouts. At this moment I was kind of scared and thinking “Why in the world did I let some random Aussie guy into my apartment? He said he needed to use the bathroom but yeah that’s the oldest trick in the book!, Urggh”. So than I said to him again “It’s kind of late and I am going to bed soon. Do you want me to walk you downstairs?” He changed the subject and proceeded to talk about Chicago. At this point I am thinking no you really need to go so I went to my bedroom grabbed my gsm and texted my neighbor to come over in five minutes. He saw me texting her and walked behind and is like “who are you texting?” I said ohh my friend, who will be here any minute. Once my friend arrived she called him a cab, even though he protested and said “Yeah Crystal is really tired and you need to go”. Those were not her exact words but it went something like that. He looked at our faces and went downstairs to catch the cab!!! Thank goodness for site mates!!!!

From down under,
Crystal

Love at the first sight

I wrote this a on December 17 and just got a chance to post it now! I have two more posts that I will put up when I get to my apartment tonight. Enjoy...

Last Sunday I had a wonderful time in church so I wanted to go again this week. I got up bright and early at 10am (hehehehe) and was out the door by 10:30am, service started at about 11am!!! My site mate and I walked to the church and got there a few minutes early but the place was empty! We read the sign on the door that said church was at the cultural center for Christmas this Sunday and it had started at 10am! Bummed we did the only thing we could think to do in Bulgaria, go to a café. The sign on the door of our favorite café said it opened at 10am on Sunday but this is Bulgaria not America. The waitress said they would not be open for another 15 minutes. It was already 10:45!!! Work times mean nothing here. Anyhow that gave us another excuse to do our second favorite activity for 15 minutes… shopping.

This particular strip we were on had all the indulgences you can imagine! My sitemate was lured into a cute little aroma candle shop. Although I am not into candles, they sure are nice gifts and look nice around the apartment. She ended up buying about 20 leva of useless things to decorate her apartment. As we walked out of the store I was extremely proud that I didn’t buy anything. The minute this thought sprung into my mind I noticed him.

He was literally standing in the display window two shops down from the one we had just left. It was as if magic had brought us together. I mean who knew I would miss church this morning and bump into my true love. He watched me and I watched him. Was this love at first sight or just infatuation? I silently said to my sight mate “do you see him?”. Of course she didn’t notice him at first so I said it again and kind of pointed in his direction with my head. She agreed that he was drop dead gorgeous. I kept staring but I didn’t know if I should go into the store to get a better look. He continued to stare at me with intrigue as if he knew we would make the perfect match. I still wasn’t so sure being in the Peace Corps and all how serious relationships would work.

I decided to keep walking and ignore these stupid feelings. However, as I passed the display window and him, he gave me strangest look as if to challenge me to accept the connection between us. I am always up for a challenge! So I walked straight in to the store towards him mumbling to myself “caution to the wind”.

The store was very well lit and I could see everything in one glance. The sales woman didn’t notice me at first because she was helping a woman try on an unattractive red coat. My strides were filled with intent. I only had eyes for him. I think I reached him in three strides and hesitated before I reached out my hand and grabbed the coat from the shelf!!!!

He looked just as good up close as he did in the display window. The sales woman noticed me at that point and asked me if I needed help. I insisted I was fine and placed him over my shoulders! Ohh heaven! I had died and gone to heaven! Who would have thought I would find something so beautiful in Bulgaria? The moment my site mate saw the coat on me she gasped in surprise. She said just above a whisper “you two look perfect together, you have to get it”. I still wasn’t quite convinced that I should get it. Were would I wear something like this? It looked great but I don’t need to dress up for work unless we have “official” meetings. I finally talked myself out of purchasing the coat but its still on my mind. I don’t want to buy it because it cost a little over ¼ of my living allowance. Which equals A LOT of money! I don’t want to stand out too much in my community but this coat is fantastic! Bulgarians try to look their best when they go out in the public. They literally dress up with makeup and all just to go to the store (well maybe not all the time). I don’t think I would stand out too much! It could be my very own Christmas gift!

I feel like such a consumer!!! America at its best!

Hopelessly in love with a cream colored winter coat,

Crystal