I finally found time to write the ending part of my last blog. This past week was a world wind of activity. After going to that party with the one black man in town I worked nonstop all week writing a grant, going to coffee meetings, preparing for a conference, and planning Superbowl weekend. WOW I haven’t been that busy in a long time.
Well back to the party with the one black man…
When I arrived at their apartment the first thing I noticed was the hallway carpet that appeared to be new. It was a mixture of orange and red with little brown swirl like flowers on the corners. It seemed out of place because everything else seemed to be old and used. They led me to the living and showed me my seat. As I mentioned before the curtains in the living room were bright red and matched the furry like blanket on one of the beds. I was surprised to see a computer on top of the desk because like I said before the family does not have much.
Dinner was really interesting. The first thing they brought out was desert, which I thought was pretty weird because typically desert is the last meal after dinner like in the states. I could not figure out why we were eating desert so I thought this was going to be a short visit. Desert was a cake that said “WELLCOME” with two-L s, the chocolate I brought, and coffee. I chuckled to myself because a lot of things written in English here don’t make sense. I turned my laughter into laughter of joy because they went through the trouble of ordering a store made cake for me. After about an hour of eating cake and drinking coffee the wife disappeared and the entire time I was wandering were she went. We talked more about politics in Rwanda, Rap/Hip-Hop music, and music videos.
I thought my visit was over until the father said, “Do you want to braid Toni’s hair now as I prepare dinner or later?” First of all, I had no idea that I was braiding Toni’s hair and secondly I had no idea that we were going to eat dinner. I did not mind braiding Toni’s hair because braiding hair is very relaxing for me and it reminds me of my roots. I also did not mind eating more food because I was still hungry. Toni disappeared and returned a few minutes later with a comb and water for his hair. The dad disappeared into the kitchen to prepare traditional food from Yemen. I still had no clue were the mom disappeared to although I suspect that she was in the kitchen cooking as well.
It seemed like everybody kept disappearing and returning except for the older son. The entire time he stared at me in bewilderment as if I was some type of circus attraction. I think I intimidated him in some way because I am different yet he is encompassed in my difference, as he is part African/Arabic. We bonded, however, when he showed me his childhood pictures. Pictures of naked children seem to transcend cultures! Why do parents insist on taking naked pictures of their children taking a bath? Can someone do research on this phenomenon? Anyhow as I laughed and commented on his pictures in my broken Bulgarian he became more comfortable around me.
I braided half of Toni’s hair when the mom and dad arrived with platters of food in their hands. Uhhmmmm it was time for dinner! Everything looked wonderful. There was rice and chicken (Traditional dishes from Yemen), salad, white beans, and so much more that I can’t remember right now. After eating my huge plate of rice I was so full that I could not eat anything else. However, I had to at least try everything so that I would not offend them. By the end of dinner I was so full that when they brought out desert I could not even manage to look at it. Who wants two deserts in one day anyway? I needed to get up for a little and also get a break from talking Bulgaria all night so I asked to use the bathroom. Everyone looked at me in surprised and the wife (interesting how I call her mom and wife all the time when she is clearly more than a mom or a wife) pointed towards the bathroom.
The bathroom was also very typical Bulgarian. In America bathrooms are usually (and I do say usually) neatly designed for comfort and pleasure. We have a bathtub separate from the toilet area, nicely printed tile that cover the floor, and the walls are usually decorated with nice wallpaper or tile. This is not the case for most apartments in Bulgaria. Most bathrooms here look like the walls would look in America before putting that white stuff up (cant remember the name right now) that looks like a wall but when you punch or break it you can see the instillation. Bathrooms here are typically “decorated” with cement and are made for basic use like showering and using the toilet. This bathroom was no different. However, they did have a matching dark blue toilet cover and rug (one of those rug things that go at the foot of the toilet), which was pretty impressive. I took care of my business, washed my hands, and went back to the living room.
As I walked into the living room (as Tupac would say) all eyes were on me. One by one each person apologized for the bathroom. At first I did not understand why they were apologizing when all the bathrooms in Bulgaria (with some exceptions) are the same. In fact I was impressed that they had a matching rug set! I told them “they were being ridiculous and that their bathroom was totally fine”. I think they had this reaction because about a month ago the father and son were at my apartment and saw that my bathroom has cute tile on the floor and walls. After I finished Toni’s hair I made my exit to go home and the mom apologized again for the bathroom. This made me feel really uncomfortable because I could see myself through their eyes as a rich spoiled American that has everything.
The father called me a cab and we all headed to the door as a group to say our good byes. I noticed the red and orange carpet again because it kept getting in the way when the father tried to open the door. He was a little frustrated and asked his son how he opened the door earlier. It was at that point that I knew the carpet was new. They had just purchased it that morning because I was coming to visit them. WOW that was a humbling experience.
The father walked me downstairs to wait for the cab and apologized for the bathroom again. After a couple minutes of standing in the cold He asked me why I did not let Toni pay for the cab earlier. I had no clue how to respond so I simply said, “because I didn’t want him to pay”. He than commented on their apartment and how horrible it was again. I told him that their apartment was neat and clean and that I did not think is bad at all and I changed the conversation to the wonderful food and company. That seemed to stop him from talking about his apartment. When the cab arrived he opened the door for me and made sure I was comfortable with my bags (they actually sent me home with food and I made pumpkin pie a couple days ago with the pumpkin they gave me). He walked to the front of the cab and gave the cab driver money. I was going to demand that he take is money back but changed my mind because I knew it would make him feel good to pay for me. I said goodbye and went home.
Every time I interact with Bulgarians I realize how fortunate I am to be here in the Peace Corps, to have grown up in America and in Chicago in a diverse neighborhood. From my perspective Bulgarians have a high standard of living compared to many developing countries but they don’t have the opportunities that we have as Americans. I have always believed that I can do and be anything I wanted. Many people here don’t believe they can do things. They believe that they are limited by their status in life or by their circumstances. Just last week I had coffee with this high school aged girl that is interested in studying in the states. She asked me random questions about her chances of being accepted. The meeting turned into a motivation session where I was trying to convince her to apply to schools. Hopefully she takes my suggestions.
thinking about red carpets,
Crystal
